Open hand, open heart

I remember a few years ago when a worship leader was talking about the symbolism of an open hand during worship. If we stand with closed hands, grasping onto the things of this world (an obsession, a selfish desire, a trial, a recurring sin, etc), we stand with clenched fists that are not open to receive the wonderful blessings and gifts that God has prepared for us, or the tools necessary to combat our struggle.

When I worship I love opening up my hand. I feel like it creates this flowing energy between me and God. I open my heart and ask God to change and mold me. I ask for God to make my heart more in tune with His.

What you are holding onto? What's in your clenched fist that you need to let go of, to be freed from the chains of this world so that we can truly experience Christ?

There are no limits when we stand with open hands and an open heart.

Children's Song

My church in Pittsburgh just started a series called "This Little Light of Mine."

I'd like you to take a minute and consider these questions...

What is the status of your light? What is the condition of your heart?

Have you hidden your light under a bushel? If so, why? Are you ashamed to let others see your light? Is there someone or something in your life that is causing you to cover your light? If so, what steps do you need to take to get your light back?

If your light is shining... what is the history of your light? In the past, what has had an influence on how bright it shines? How has God worked through or in you in these times?

Is your light shining or is it raging?

If you find your light isn't quite shining the way you'd like, I think the bridge "Glory to God" by Fee is a great prayer,

"Take my life and let it be all for your and for your glory. Take my life and let it be yours." Take a listen at http://www.myspace.com/stevefee

If you are interested in listening to the series, audio and video tracks are available online. http://www.northway.org/secondary/mediaArchive/mediaArchive.aspx

Bittersweet

Last night Northway, my church in Pittsburgh, held a worship night where we sang praise to our God, including some Christmas songs.

We also took Communion.

I had never taken communion when celebrating Christ's birth before.

Normal births are a joyous day to celebrate a new life entering the world. I don't think God quite had the same experience with His son. He saw His son be born, but all the while, knowing Christ's fate. On that beautiful day when Christ was born, God knew that he would live a short life; one that would end in both mental and physical pain and agony.

How bittersweet a birth.

My 14 year old self

"Trying to dismiss what haunts my mind

But it consumes me and makes me blind

Blind to the light, that now dimly shines

Dark is the path and blurred are the lines"

There was more, but I don't remember it...

I wrote this over 7 years ago, when I was 14 and going through serious depression. It's about being consumed by something you are struggling with, and losing sight of God to a point where that beautiful light you are given, almost goes out... a time when you are no longer following God's plan for your life.

My depression lasted for about a year and then I started drowning my sorrows in the bottom of a bottle and impairing my mind in other ways. And once my depression was finally lifted, I was so far away from God, that I didn't care what was right or wrong.

Even though I am recovered from that state of mind, there are still things in my life that consume my mind, and although my light is shining brightly, they still affect me. On a spiritual level, sometimes these thoughts consume my heart and close it from hearing what the Spirit is telling me. And on a personal level, these thoughts often inhibit me from being productive with school work, daily chores, etc., which just adds extra stress to my life. What to do with these thoughts? Dig into scripture and see what it has to say about your issue, and pray over it...

TWLOHA

This world was created to be perfect. We were designed for a life of freedom.

Freedom from
Depression. Addiction. Self-injury. Suicide.

But when the fall of man occurred, these things entered the world.

So many people are bound by these things. It consumes their lives.

For those of us who have overcome these things or who have managed to avoid them: If you know someone suffering from any of these, step in. Be their light when they feel they are surrounded by darkness. Offer them hope in this harsh world.

Show love. Join the movement. Love is the movement.

This excerpt from To Write Love on Her Arms says it much better than I can:

”We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.”

To learn more about this organization, go to: http://www.twloha.com/index.php

Friends

In my opinion, getting together with good friends to mutually encourage each other is one of life's biggest blessings. If you don't already have an accountability or prayer partner, I totally recommend it.

On a side note: I'm watching Wall-E! He's the cutest :)

Some great artists

I don't usually listen to many female singers, but I've been listening to these ladies lately... check 'em out!

http://www.myspace.com/kassiraemusic

This is a good friend of mine, Kassi, who leads worship on Sunday. She has a great heart! Always is a beautiful song.

http://www.myspace.com/juliaeasterlin

Go Straightaway is incredible! Loops/mixes like Imogen Heap, but with a jazzy voice.

http://www.myspace.com/kimberliana19

Listen to Fireflies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25VGdNU3nrU

And if you haven't already seen this video, it's a must watch! Imogen Heap mixes/loops Just for Now live!

Enjoy! =)

"You'll Come" brings me hope

Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite Hillsong United songs off the Hillsong Australia album:

"I have decided

I have resolved

To wait upon You Lord

My rock and Redeemer

Shield and reward

I'll wait upon You Lord

As surely as the sun will rise

You'll come to us

Certain as the dawn appears

You'll come

Let Your glory fall as You respond to us

Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again

You'll come

You'll come

We are not shaken

We are not moved

We wait upon You Lord

Mighty deliverer

Triumph and truth

We wait upon You Lord

As surely as the sun will rise

You'll come to us

Certain as Your Word endures

You'll come

Let Your glory fall as You respond to us

Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again

You'll come

You'll come

Chains be broken

Lives be healed

Eyes be opened

Christ is revealed"

Just some ways this song moves me...

-I love the promise God gives us here. We can expect Him to answer our prayers with as much confidence as we have for the morning to bring light. It might not be in our timing or the way we want our prayers answered; but we are to wait patiently with expectant hearts. And until then, God uses His shield to protect us. This is a promise that even when we are still in battle, we know that we will be victorious in the end. (Desert Song by Hillsong sings of being victorious because we are God's children)

-And what a beautiful prayer... "Chains be broken, lives be healed. Eyes be opened, Christ is revealed." Sometimes when I don't know what to pray, I just sing this over and over again as my prayer.

Feel free to comment on what it means to you. Or shoot me an email if you want it to be private :)

The first of many confessions

I'd like to confess that recently I've done something that was partly out of my own selfish ambition. The reason is complicated and rather personal (although I'd probably share it, if you asked: I often share my deepest, dirtiest secrets with others, to keep me accountable.. if I feel shame telling it to another human being, it makes me realize how much I'm hurting my Father and hopefully prevents me from doing it again. I encourage you to find someone to keep you accountable as well, if you haven't already).

Philippians 2:3, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."

I can't say that I consider myself better than this person, but they have caused me some pain in the past, that carries into the present.

The absolutely precious thing, is that even though my motives were wrong, a great thing is going to come out of this. God is and will be glorified in this situation. I find it so incredible that even though I screwed up, others will benefit.

Friends, I am not saying this is lift myself up or to say that I've done anything good. I am saying this to show how God uses us even when we mess up.

Love stories aren't just for Disney princesses

Just had a revelation on how blessed I am! Wanted to share...

I've fallen in love... twice.

Truly head over heels, pulse racing, butterflies in my stomach, can't live without you, want to dedicate my life to you L-O-V-E.

My newest love is my fiance, Scott. When I was single, I remember lying in my bed at night, imagining what the "perfect relationship" would be like. While we have our rocky moments, I can honestly say I couldn't be happier. God has revealed my Prince Charming to me.

My first and foremost love is my Maker. At age 16 I starting weakly following Him, and since then He has completely swept me off my feet! He was and is the Lover of My Soul, even before my future-husband came along. Scott is wonderful, but he's human. Inevitably he will let me down, as I will with him. But The Counselor never fails me. He's been with me since the womb, is with me now, and He will be with me forever.

I've realized you don't have to be a Disney princess to live a fairy tale. And you don't even need an earthly man... all you have to do is allow yourself to fall madly in love with your Creator, and the rest will follow.