He is jealous for me

This is a response I wrote to my Mom's post on facebook about a particularly lovely song called "How he loves." Scott said he liked what I wrote, so I guess I'll post it here.

"He is jealous for me..." Why do we make our God such a jealous God? Constantly putting other things before him... our time, our focus, our energy, our allegiance? Why is it that we can't just sit and be silent before His Majesty, who created us from mere dust? Why are we not so infatuated with Him that don't long to be by His side every second of every day? It amazes me how much He gives us and how little we give Him.

If you aren't familiar, the lyrics go...

"He is jealous for me

He loves like a hurricane, I am a tree

Bending beneath the weight of His love and mercy

All of the sudden

I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize just how beautiful you are

And how great your affections are for me

Oh, how he loves us so..."

Open hand, open heart

I remember a few years ago when a worship leader was talking about the symbolism of an open hand during worship. If we stand with closed hands, grasping onto the things of this world (an obsession, a selfish desire, a trial, a recurring sin, etc), we stand with clenched fists that are not open to receive the wonderful blessings and gifts that God has prepared for us, or the tools necessary to combat our struggle.

When I worship I love opening up my hand. I feel like it creates this flowing energy between me and God. I open my heart and ask God to change and mold me. I ask for God to make my heart more in tune with His.

What you are holding onto? What's in your clenched fist that you need to let go of, to be freed from the chains of this world so that we can truly experience Christ?

There are no limits when we stand with open hands and an open heart.

Children's Song

My church in Pittsburgh just started a series called "This Little Light of Mine."

I'd like you to take a minute and consider these questions...

What is the status of your light? What is the condition of your heart?

Have you hidden your light under a bushel? If so, why? Are you ashamed to let others see your light? Is there someone or something in your life that is causing you to cover your light? If so, what steps do you need to take to get your light back?

If your light is shining... what is the history of your light? In the past, what has had an influence on how bright it shines? How has God worked through or in you in these times?

Is your light shining or is it raging?

If you find your light isn't quite shining the way you'd like, I think the bridge "Glory to God" by Fee is a great prayer,

"Take my life and let it be all for your and for your glory. Take my life and let it be yours." Take a listen at http://www.myspace.com/stevefee

If you are interested in listening to the series, audio and video tracks are available online. http://www.northway.org/secondary/mediaArchive/mediaArchive.aspx

Bittersweet

Last night Northway, my church in Pittsburgh, held a worship night where we sang praise to our God, including some Christmas songs.

We also took Communion.

I had never taken communion when celebrating Christ's birth before.

Normal births are a joyous day to celebrate a new life entering the world. I don't think God quite had the same experience with His son. He saw His son be born, but all the while, knowing Christ's fate. On that beautiful day when Christ was born, God knew that he would live a short life; one that would end in both mental and physical pain and agony.

How bittersweet a birth.

My 14 year old self

"Trying to dismiss what haunts my mind

But it consumes me and makes me blind

Blind to the light, that now dimly shines

Dark is the path and blurred are the lines"

There was more, but I don't remember it...

I wrote this over 7 years ago, when I was 14 and going through serious depression. It's about being consumed by something you are struggling with, and losing sight of God to a point where that beautiful light you are given, almost goes out... a time when you are no longer following God's plan for your life.

My depression lasted for about a year and then I started drowning my sorrows in the bottom of a bottle and impairing my mind in other ways. And once my depression was finally lifted, I was so far away from God, that I didn't care what was right or wrong.

Even though I am recovered from that state of mind, there are still things in my life that consume my mind, and although my light is shining brightly, they still affect me. On a spiritual level, sometimes these thoughts consume my heart and close it from hearing what the Spirit is telling me. And on a personal level, these thoughts often inhibit me from being productive with school work, daily chores, etc., which just adds extra stress to my life. What to do with these thoughts? Dig into scripture and see what it has to say about your issue, and pray over it...

TWLOHA

This world was created to be perfect. We were designed for a life of freedom.

Freedom from
Depression. Addiction. Self-injury. Suicide.

But when the fall of man occurred, these things entered the world.

So many people are bound by these things. It consumes their lives.

For those of us who have overcome these things or who have managed to avoid them: If you know someone suffering from any of these, step in. Be their light when they feel they are surrounded by darkness. Offer them hope in this harsh world.

Show love. Join the movement. Love is the movement.

This excerpt from To Write Love on Her Arms says it much better than I can:

”We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.”

To learn more about this organization, go to: http://www.twloha.com/index.php

Friends

In my opinion, getting together with good friends to mutually encourage each other is one of life's biggest blessings. If you don't already have an accountability or prayer partner, I totally recommend it.

On a side note: I'm watching Wall-E! He's the cutest :)