My 14 year old self

"Trying to dismiss what haunts my mind

But it consumes me and makes me blind

Blind to the light, that now dimly shines

Dark is the path and blurred are the lines"

There was more, but I don't remember it...

I wrote this over 7 years ago, when I was 14 and going through serious depression. It's about being consumed by something you are struggling with, and losing sight of God to a point where that beautiful light you are given, almost goes out... a time when you are no longer following God's plan for your life.

My depression lasted for about a year and then I started drowning my sorrows in the bottom of a bottle and impairing my mind in other ways. And once my depression was finally lifted, I was so far away from God, that I didn't care what was right or wrong.

Even though I am recovered from that state of mind, there are still things in my life that consume my mind, and although my light is shining brightly, they still affect me. On a spiritual level, sometimes these thoughts consume my heart and close it from hearing what the Spirit is telling me. And on a personal level, these thoughts often inhibit me from being productive with school work, daily chores, etc., which just adds extra stress to my life. What to do with these thoughts? Dig into scripture and see what it has to say about your issue, and pray over it...

TWLOHA

This world was created to be perfect. We were designed for a life of freedom.

Freedom from
Depression. Addiction. Self-injury. Suicide.

But when the fall of man occurred, these things entered the world.

So many people are bound by these things. It consumes their lives.

For those of us who have overcome these things or who have managed to avoid them: If you know someone suffering from any of these, step in. Be their light when they feel they are surrounded by darkness. Offer them hope in this harsh world.

Show love. Join the movement. Love is the movement.

This excerpt from To Write Love on Her Arms says it much better than I can:

”We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.”

To learn more about this organization, go to: http://www.twloha.com/index.php

Friends

In my opinion, getting together with good friends to mutually encourage each other is one of life's biggest blessings. If you don't already have an accountability or prayer partner, I totally recommend it.

On a side note: I'm watching Wall-E! He's the cutest :)